It’s important.

If there’s on thing in life that carries significant value and urgency it’s finding time to lounge back and absorb as much television as possible.  You know it, I know it! 😉

Time is precious and we have little of it, so maximizing our time to fit in more movies must be our top priority! We can’t just just ignore our first world need to be luxuriously pampered and entertained. otherwise, what’s the point?

Ok, you’ve probably guessed that I’m being a little sarcastic. If you haven’t then yeah – I’m just kidding around.

But Let’s Get Started…

For a bit of laugh I came up with a way to maximize your time so you can watch endless amounts of movies by “optimizing” your schedule. So here we go!

PLEASE NOTE:  Don’t actually follow any of the tips in this post, they are meant to be for the sake of humor and would more than likely cause more harm than good to your health, relationships and general happiness. If you do follow any of these tips, I refuse to take any responsibility for the outcome!

This post also contains affiliates links to products I earn a commission from.

Tip No. 1: Prioritize!!

Adjust your mindset.  The key to success is all in how you think. Remember: TV is important so make sure you push the other priorities in your life down to make way for it.

If you don’t take this first step, you may doomed to a life of happiness away from your television.

Go Portable.

You’ve been stashing away money for a rainy day, right? Well that day has come, because you have come to realize that your life is a disappearing and you haven’t watched nearly as many movies as you should have by now.

Exchange those savings and get some portable movies watching devices: it could be your phone, iPad, a portable Blu-Ray player, kick ass headphones anything that allows you to watch movies while away from your home or out with your friends (ignoring them): that’s efficiency.

Become Unlikable.

The problem is people want to spend time with you, I know, they’re so selfish and they take up precious movie time. 

Become rude and abrupt to deal with so that people do their best to distance themselves from you.  This is a powerful, life changing tip that will make you utterly miserable but you’ll fit in more movies.  Win!

Still have friends? That’s tough, have movie days!

Force your friends and family to watch what you want them to watch.  If they insist on something else, slap on your portable movie solution from tip 2, this will also contribute to tip 3 whilst you fit in more movies during your social time.

Don’t groom yourself.

This powerful time saving tip will help you on multiple levels.

Again, you become more unlikable, check!  But think really think about it – brushing your teeth, combing your hair, having a shower and changing clothes can take an hour or so each day, 365 days of the year.  You can watch 182 x 2 hour movies each year in that time.

You can also save money on all of the supplies “the man” makes you buy to achieve good grooming.  That’s more money for movies.

Shun friends and family altogether.

Ok, I’ll just go all the way with this one.  Just don’t allow them into your life.  All they do is take up time, bring social and emotional happiness and ruin your movie time.

Time to make some sacrifices for the greater good!

Watch Movies at Lunch time

I actually work from home, there’s no joke here.

When I’m trying to cram in movie time I was half a movie one day, half the next. You can also just take a full blown 2 hour lunch break and watch then too.  If you ‘re at work then watch it on your portable solution, Easy.

Come to think of it…

Quit Your Job

Money is for suckers, right?  Who needs money, food, a house and the freedom to live a decent life? Pfft.

If you quit your job that’s an extra 40 hours a week you can lounge around watching Martial Arts films.  YES!

Quit Social Media

They say we’re all addicted to social media and spend way to much of our time scrolling through Facebook these days.  I say switch addictions.

Feed your addiction for Martial Arts movies directly. Disconnect from all social media.

Forgo other hobbies…

Much like above, exchange your entire life’s interest for movies. THAT’S efficiency.

If you keep going you will literally be able to watch movies 18 hours a day! Isn’t that fantastic? Sure you’ll be miserable and unhealthy but hey!

Give up on your health.

Good health requires time and money – you need those for martial arts movies.  Those Netflix payments won’t take care of themselves so this one is high on the priority list.

Besides, you may get disability if you spiral out of control quickly enough (ever watched Housos?). One way to do this is to……

…stop cooking your food.  Live on Popcorn.

Microwave Popcorn will destroy your health, but it’s movie food.

Cooking itself takes away from valuable movie time and should be shunned immediately.  Even better – get your mum to cook for you, she’s not busy anyway is she?  This one will work right into your 40’s or 50’s if you’re lucky.

Sleep Less, Watch More.

They say 8 – 10 Hours sleep is optimal for health.  But since we’re letting go of our health to see more movies, we’re going cut that down to 4 hours.

4 hours is the magical number we’re you still feel like shit all day, but you aren’t fighting to stay awake.  This is a powerful strategy for fitting in more movie time.

Spend Money on a Massive Home Cinema.

I have a nice home cinema set up with surround sound, whenever I walk past it calls to me like a hypnotic spirit that draws me in until I’m suddenly 6 hours deep into a movie marathon.

This will break your spirit even more as you will only want to watch movies to satisfy your investment into your home cinema equipment.

Talk to your doctor.

As with all important things in life, medical advice will help you to understand the complete picture of your lifestyle and how it affects your health.

Once you know what you’re info you can better plan your life of movie time.

Ignore your Doctor’s advice.

He’s going to tell you what you’re doing is unhealthy, so just ignore him.

Come to think of it, you should probably skip these two steps altogether and not see your doctor.  Watch a movie instead, sorry for wasting your time.

Go Region Free

You can waste hours trying to track down movies that aren’t available in your market, get a region free Blu-ray/DVD Player so you can shop anywhere.

OSS!

Start a Movie Review Website.

I don’t know if you noticed this yet or not, but I tried this one.

The amount of time I spent watching movie increased dramatically and all of the above tips come to pass without me even trying.

Please send help.

Watch two movies at once (or more).

You won’t be able to follow either one and you’ll never enjoy the movies you’re attempting to watch. But you’ll be able to say you’ve seen them.

This is an advanced method not for the faint of heart.

Rent a second house.

Tell no one, the purpose of this is to avoid dealing with people.

By renting this secret base of personal cinema, your ability to be mildly entertained at the expense of everything else will become effortless.

If you’re short on money, I have another tip..

…sell everything you own!

Except movie sand movie related devices.

Find your life, second house and crazy amount of home cinema gear by selling everything else.  It’s called minimalism and it’s trending right now.

Bonus: Sell your car too, here’s why…

Quit Driving.

You can’t drive and watch TV at the same time (well, you can but you’ll probably kill a bunch of people and yourself).

Sell your car, take the bus or a cab so you can watch TV during every single trip you make.  OSS!

Never Watch the same Movie Twice

Even if you enjoy it and really want to see it again, you’ll kill your efficiency by doing this. Remember, we’re not trying to enjoy ourselves we’re trying to prove to the world how dedicated and pathetic we really are.

Don’t make this mistake.

Don’t take this too seriously.

OK, this list was purely for fun and to demonstrate how obsessive not to get.  We all love watching movies and hell, I run a website about them so just kick back and take it easy.

I do have one final tip for you that is real though….

Create a List

No lame joke here (I know, I’m definitely not funny and I apologise).

When you do get time to watch a movie sometimes you don’t know what you want to watch – so create a list. I always have a small piece of paper floating around that has a list of movies or Tv shows I want to watch, so when the time comes I pull it out and pick one to cross off (watch).

I even have a printable PDF here (Free) that you can use.

I hope you enjoyed this post as it was supposed to be very tongue in cheek.  Have a good day we’ll talk again soon!